Stimulate This

We saw the United States Congress pass a World simulating plan. (too bad it did little for American people, but it is sure to simulate inflation). As gig workers ponies made 5 cents a ride. In keeping with the unemployment provided by the US, they earned a minimum of $198 per week plus $600 to replace those lost gig earnings of 5 cents and more. DogFacePonia, not to be outdone, has created a stimulus list to help ponies being forced to close down during the pandemic. Honestly, when was your last pony ride? 2020 has been hard indeed.

Our plan is below and it is not 5000 pages.

  • $10 million for upgrades to Dominion voting machines to stimulate voting and rouse it out of lethargy, quiescence, or indifference.
  • $100 million to verify Qanon conspiracy theories
  • $5 million to acquire Hunter Biden paintings and independent films for the White House
  • $150 million to design and market fur bikinis for Eskimos
  • $20 million to create and stock toilet paper for the Strategic Toilet Paper Reserve (STPR)
  • $100 million to study the effects of TaB on preventing Covid.
  • $50 Million to build a Giant Orange snow man.
  • $10 McConnell anti goiter fund research
  • $100 to buy $100 Trillion Dollars in Zimbabwe Dollars. Our countries’ monetary policy seems pretty much the same as Zimbabwe so can just pay off the debt with 1 bill?
  • $10 million to create a Pelosi haircut and ice cream pantry for the ice cream and haircut insecure.
  • $10 million to study changing the name French Laundry Restaurant to Chinese Laundry Takeout
  • Hydroxychloroquine research and marketing, priceless

This plan may seem ridiculous but it is still a better plan than the one brought by the US Congress and only costs around $400 million. I wonder what that is in Zimbabwe dollars?

Image From: “15.05.2009 TWO HUNDRED TRILLION DOLLARS” (CC BY 2.0) by apyykko