TaB May Prevent Covid

Man Drinking TaB with grossed out look on his face.

There may be another victim of the Covid-19 virus. The CocaCola company has been making significantly less TaB with an eye to eliminating TaB from its lineup. Price gauging has resulted as supplies of TaB dwindle. TaB protests are expected to dwarf recent BLM protests. BLM protesters are not TaB drinkers which may explain why CocaCola felt safe to cut back production.

Still, there are no known cases of COVID in TaB drinkers. Critics claim that is because TaB drinking is so rare. However, there continues to be a never shrinking core group of TaB drinkers. TaB drinkers are demanding medical tests to determine if TaB can be used as a prophylactic against the virus. President Trump is being asked to drink TaB to ward off Covid although this might accelerate its demise if he discloses it. President Trump needs to appeal to his TaB drinking base.

In the event TaB is discontinued, a commemorative monument to TaB is being planned which will be funded by TaB drinkers. The monument is envisioned as a large TaB can which would be a tourist attraction.  It should dominate the skyline.  The committee thinks a water tower would be a possibility. If you build it they will come. There is a water tower with a smiley face on Rte 66 that people come to see.

Another feature on Rte 66 was a Giant Statue of Paul Bunyon holding a hotdog which could be replaced by a TaB can. There is a motel with Wigwam/tipi for each room that could be replaced with a relica of a TaB can for each room.  Also an interesting attraction, a Cadillac Ranch, is a colorful burial ground for cars. Why not a beautiful burial ground for vintage TaB cans/ bottles instead of vintage Cadillacs?

Flavortown/Columbus could be christened as TaBtown instead but there is an accusation that TaB has no flavor.  In the end, TaBtown will likely be established in DogFacePonia because the virus passed over it as well. The monument and any tourist attractions would be protected by DogFacePony Soldiers, both lyin’ and truthful.

SAVE TaB SAVE THE WORLD. Join with us in establishing a TaB protest group.  Sign up in the comments area below. We seek your input and ideas. And if you think you are safe, Barq’s is on the chopping block as well (no pun). Orphan soda like orphan drugs are expensive, rare and desperately need your support. In response a group of TaB drinkers has painted a mural in DogFacePonia.

Image From: “tab” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by zagraves