“I realize the use of fetal tissue is a touchy subject, but it is one that we must address. The political climate has changed here in the United States and I think the public is finally ready for an honest discussion on the economic benefits of Planned Parenthood. People need to understand the importance of supplying our research facilities with locally available, viable tissue. We are already competing heavily with Chinese imports,” stated Dr. Doro Hurgerson, a Planned Parenthood associate. “The so-called heartbeat bill recently passed in Texas is going to hit our bottom line pretty hard. I just got word an hour ago that Oklahoma has passed similar legislation. This is not good for our company.” When quizzed by this reporter as to the legality of selling aborted fetal tissue, Dr. Hurgerson explained that while the tissue itself is not sold, there were processing, shipping and handling fees. “Fortunately, these fees are not regulated, we can charge whatever is necessary.”
“Furthermore,” she explained “While Planned Parenthood appears to be funded largely by the American taxpayer, this is not true. Almost every federal penny we get is donated back to the Democrat party to support pro-abortion candidates. We have to do this to protect jobs… and the right of women to healthcare.”
“Getting back to the Texas, Oklahoma problem,” she sputtered,” We would much prefer changes to the abortion law that allowed women to abort at 9 months. The further along the fetus is, the higher the value. Our company is providing a service to women and girls who, for whatever reason, wish to terminate their pregnancy. It is a win-win situation, we provide them with the care they need and they donate to our product inventory. Many of these women come in once a year to donate. We are proud to supply American fetal tissue to American researchers.”
Hurgerson went on to explain that almost all fetal tissue supplied by Planned Parenthood ends up in research funded by grants provided by the National Institute of Health. “A 3rd party distributor collects and processes the fetal remains according to their customers requirements,” she paused. “So, you see, it’s not just about women’s health. There are employees throughout the supply chain.”
When questioned about the morality of abortion, Dr. Hurgerson sighed and shook her head. “I realize that a certain segment of the population still needs to get over the idea that just because there is a heartbeat that the mother’s, um excuse me, woman’s rights should end. Try to look at it this way. There are a dozen ways to prevent pregnancy. If the woman too stupid to take a pill once a day or can’t figure out how to use contraceptive foam or cream, do we really need her spawn in the gene pool?”
*Planned Parenthood commits about 40% of abortions in the United States
*Planned Parenthood’s annual abortion count is up to 354,871
*96.9% of pregnant women who seek help at Planned Parenthood have abortions.
The Planned Parenthood Federation of America is a member of International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF), and works closely with the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), and the Population Council.
*DogFacePonia Supports Families not Planned Parenthood