It’s Cyber Monday! Why loot a store when you can steal an election? We have a doorbuster sale on many new and used Dominion electronic voting machines. All memory on these devices has been completely erased. A special discount is offered on machines from Fulton County Georgia to support the claim that they were in a flood (no not that flood).
Are you unlikeable? Do you hide in your basement? Do you have an uncontrollable desire to sniff women and children? Buy a Dominion voting machine and start your political career like Joe. Winning results guaranteed without campaigning when instructions are followed. Electionbuster Smartmatic software sold separately.
Buy twelve get a thirteenth free. Be the envy of all your fellow politicians. You no longer need to buy votes while they do. You can get support from other candidates by sharing your Dominion Voting machines for an election.
What do you give the guy or gal who has everything? Nothing says I love you like giving a Dominion Voting machine to start them off in their new career in politics with a win. This is the must have gift for Christmas in a Democrat family. Think of the excitement on Christmas morning when you wake to find a Dominion voting machine under your tree.
This is also a unique collectible. There is a limited number available and location of use certificate will be provided. They are not making these anymore so get yours now.
Free entry in a contest to win a trip to Venezuela with purchase. Losers get a trip to the penitentiary.