Guide to becoming a DogFacePonia Deepcover Agent.

DogFacePonia is a great place because we have rules set up for all our ponies to go unnoticed even when they are undercover or under covers.

  1. When in attendance at press conferences all employees must wear a name tag, “my name is sheep.” This works so well to blind people to the truth. Even though DogFacePonies look nothing like sheep today you cannot question anything that looks wrong or out of place.
  2. Try to be More White even if Coke tells you otherwise. This helps you can blend in. Sheep are White after all.
  3. No barking or neighing remember you are a sheep for crying out loud.
  4. Female DogFace Ponies shall be required to wear a mustache when attending public events. The reason for this is very simple. A woman with a mustache cannot be questioned at all. They must be granted higher priorities than women or men. Even if we do not totally understand how this works it totally does. People will not even know what pronoun to use when talking to you so they will avoid conversation.
  5. Male DogFace Ponies shall be required wear dresses when attending public events. This disguise may work even better than the mustache, we are not sure why, so just don’t ask. I mean science has told us there are only 2 possible genders, thus a male DogFace Pony in a  dress cannot be questioned and miraculously goes unnoticed.
  6. On the rare occasion the prior rules have not made the DogFacePonies invisible to everyone. We advise they scream, “It’s Trump’s fault.” Then all others nod like passive sheep and forget you even matter, so they can watch Biden strip our freedom with the stroke of his pen.
  7. If Joe Biden calls you a “Lying Dogfaced Pony Solider” your cover has been blown. Escape quickly if possible. We don’t know you and never did, unless you can make it into a big news story. In which case, 😉 tell them about our website.

It took us a long time, in a galaxy far away to come up with these rules. Many DogFacePonies died to bring you this information. The heroes of the past live on in our hearts and minds throughout DogFacePonia and will never be forgotten. We cannot tell you their tales because it is classified.

Image From: “Tessie in Black and White” (CC BY 2.0) by Lunchbox Photography