Sesame Street announced that it plans to stop counting. The obvious question is what will happen to Count von Count? Is he out of a Job? We were able to set up an interview with the Count to ask him a few questions.
Interview with the Vampire
DPF: We asked people what is their favorite vampire. You were a common answer. Some suggested you do not count. What would you say to those critics?
Count: The Count said I can assure you that I do!
DFP: Somethings are really hard to count these days as they keep changing. We would like to know how many genders there are?
Count: One, Two, Two Genders Ah Ah Ah.
DFP: How many illegal immigrants have come to America this year?
Count: One, Two … Fifty
DFP: We are sorry to interrupt just count in millions.
Count: One, Two, Three, Four, Five Million Illegal Immigrants Ah Ah AH.
DFP: Next Question how many Fentanyl overdoes have occurred in 2022 maybe tell us in thousands this time?
Count: One, Two, Three …100 Thousand Deaths Ah Ah Ah. Well I should not laugh Ah AH
DFP: How many Monkeypox deaths where there?
Count: Zero, Zero Monkeypox deaths. Zero is a number but not for counting.
DFP: So we are starting to understand why they might want to give up counting? What do you think the plan will be when you are no longer counting?
Count: They will bring in an LBTQ+ Muppet or have Grover transition.
We here at Dogfaceponia now know why they want the count to stop counting. The Count has two major problems. Math can reveal the Truth and because of that math is racist. As such we think it is only a matter of time before Sesame Street fires the Count for good. This is the Biden Economy where even a Vampire can lose his job before Halloween.