What Color Should the Woke House Be?

LGBT colored White House

On a hot dry drought morning, the sun rises over the land.  Snowflakes still waft down softly on campuses.  But all is not peaceful and calm.  The snowflakes (who happen to be white) are upset with their president living in a White House (RACIST).  A commission has been formed to determine what color to paint the house. 

  • Pink was eliminated (SEXIST) and no one knows what a woman is.
  • Trans ponies wanted purple but did not have the numbers to justify it but they are working on it.
  • Blue favors donkeys over ponies and encourages illegal immigration of more donkeys. 
  • Yellow would indicate cowardice inviting outside attacks. Ukraine has a flag that is blue and yellow so is this a country of cowardly donkeys? Or is it just those with flags in their yard who are watching Ukraine fight a war for them.
  • Red is no longer acceptable because of the semi-fascist Ultra MAGA Republicans who use red for their hats. The plan is to eliminate red from flags as well as it is now deemed Anti-Democracy.
  • Rainbow paint would certainly be best but was objected to as heterophobic. This is really a word.
  • Real President Trump favored orange to highlight his countenance. 
  • Green is all the rage now because of the green new deal. Advocates claim it is an existential threat to Democracy if the color green is not chosen.

There seemed to be no easy solution. The commission finally decided to have a rotating color display using strobe lights but that immediately resulted in a fight over how to determine the length of time each color would be displayed. Further, there is an energy crisis and the strobe lights would consume too much electricity. As the sun goes down there is no peace tonight.

Image From: White House, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons