A message was received from Mars. It was interpreted by some of the best scientific minds on earth. It was reported to say the following…
We the people of Mars are becoming more irritated with increased illegal alien activities from Earth. For years, we have mostly ignored these activities. Now we the Free Maritain Republic, fear as we watch the USA, a leading nation of earth, ignore its own laws. We believe it could lead to our own downfall. We are especially concerned about your Democratic Party. We also do not want COVID-19, Monkey Pox or any of your other diseases. Did you even watch War of the Worlds?
According to Martian rules, Earth has no right to visit our planet and we will be constructing a “border asteroid field” between Earth and Mars. This asteroid field will eliminate illegal Earthlings from visiting our planet. We have successfully thwarted past incursions with the Mars/Jupiter asteroid field which dismantled the fearsome penetration in relations with Uranus.
It appears Mars is using the Perseverance Rover to build the asteroid wall. That way, this can all be blamed on Trump.
Immediately after receiving the translation from top scientists, Joe Biden announced the formation of we he called a Crack team to review the situation. Jen Psaki said, “Joe Biden would be appointing Hunter Biden to head this CRACK team, as no one knows more about Crack than Hunter Biden.” Karine Jean-Pierre suggested that Joe Biden is confident in Hunter Though they had never done business Together. He believes if we give Hunter Biden enough money and crack his superior international relations will finally be able to benefit our county.
Joe Biden is said to be working on “Mars First” legislation with Hakeem Jeffries and congress. With this legislation he wants to use candy bars to make children like him and to ensure America is last even in Solar System wide negotiations. This is all totally logical when you look at the bills that go through congress.
We here at DogFacePonia are extremely confused at all this information. We will need to withhold further comment until KJP can explain it to us. All and all it was pretty much a normal day, I guess. Joe Biden getting messages from other planets, KJP can’t explain anything, and Hunter is still on Crack.
On a side note, Dogfaceponia is thinking of building a wall. We feel the Biden Administration is from another planet.