FBI Profile of J** B****

FBI recruitment table

FBl profilers have released the following profile of a subject who may be dangerous to the public. These forms are filled out for all suspected people.

Name: (redacted due to legal concerns) J** B****

Housing: Public housing. Previously lived in a basement.

International: Travel to countries like China and the Ukraine. Hidden international banking transactions in the Cayman Islands.

Narcotics: Possible family drug use. Assists Mexican cartel members to import drugs.

Sexual Deviant Behavior: Sniffing. Family loves lap dances. Showers with daughters and nieces according to reports.

Relationship to White Supremacists: Associated with KKK and Robert Byrd. Doesn’t want children to go to school in a racial jungle.

Firearms: Surrounds h**self with armed guards. Doesn’t let guards use MyPillows.

Religion: Public display of religious fervor. While defying the same religions with life and policy choices.

Mental problems: Observed to be confused. Doesn’t know where they are. Refers to voters as Lyin’ DogFacePony Soldiers. Says lots of Malarkey. Gets wife and sister confused.

Physical indications: Trips when confronted by winds in excess of 5 mph. Terrible at walking dogs. Frequently gets foot trapped in mouth.

Weapons: Talks of “Confiscating” weapons from others.

If you know someone with a similar profile, please contact the FBI.  The life you save may be your own.

Image From: “National Night Out 2016 – FBI Cincinnati” (Public Domain) by Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)