Dublin, Ireland – A worker at the Guinness Brewery in Dublin has apparently infected all Guinness Beer with a virus now dubbed the “Guinness Virus”
The worker who asked that we not use his name said “Earlier in the week I was hunting for a pot of gold and was bitten by a little green man. When I went to work the next day in the brewery I began to feel ill”
Now it seems this disease is spreading and the more Guinness you drink the more likely you will experience symptoms. Infection may include the following:
- a loss of coordination, such as stumbling or swaying
- flushing of the face
- bloodshot eyes
- louder speech than usual
- slurred speech
- damp or clammy skin
- mood swings or personality changes, such as aggression or depression
- drowsiness
- slowed reflexes
- irrational love of the color green
- unfounded claims of Irish ancestry
If you notice any of these symptoms stop drinking Guinness (or Jameson) immediately. Consider purchasing and using DFP oil.
Image From: “guinness” (CC BY 2.0) by bloohimwhom
