Guinness Virus Spreading

Dublin, Ireland – A worker at the Guinness Brewery in Dublin has apparently infected all Guinness Beer with a virus now dubbed the “Guinness Virus”

The worker who asked that we not use his name said “Earlier in the week I was hunting for a pot of gold and was bitten by a little green man. When I went to work the next day in the brewery I began to feel ill”

Now it seems this disease is spreading and the more Guinness you drink the more likely you will experience symptoms. Infection may include the following:

  • a loss of coordination, such as stumbling or swaying
  • flushing of the face
  • bloodshot eyes
  • louder speech than usual
  • slurred speech
  • damp or clammy skin
  • mood swings or personality changes, such as aggression or depression
  • drowsiness
  • slowed reflexes
  • irrational love of the color green
  • unfounded claims of Irish ancestry

If you notice any of these symptoms stop drinking Guinness (or Jameson) immediately. Consider purchasing and using DFP oil.

Image From: “guinness” (CC BY 2.0) by bloohimwhom