Putin to Ride into the Sunset

Analysts who follow the Kremlin have noticed what appears to be physical symptoms of the degenerative neurological disorder, Trump Derangement Syndrome, in 68-year-old Putin. He is expected to step down in January of 2021.

The Sun (a well respected Tabloid) claims the former officer of the Soviet Union’s KGB secret police has been pressed by his girlfriend, 37-year-old Uzbek-born and his family, his 34- and 35-year-old daughters, want their father to step down. The Kremlin is waiting in dire anticipation. Trump feels it would be fair for him to select a successor to Putin.

The symptoms seemed particularly pronounced as Biden announced as winning the Presidential election. Among the symptoms, Putin lost a Karate match to a 5 year old and referred to his horse as a lying dogfaceunicorn. The Kremlin felt that Putin didn’t succeed in his Russian disinformation campaign against the Biden family. CNN sees this as an admission that the Bidens are squeaky clean and that any further investigation would be pointless.

Putin who has clearly picked the winner in the last 3 elections is disappointed he couldn’t do it again. If he can’t set the winner of the election anymore, he might as well retire. Now the the Media will pick winners. They seem to have a good handle on the polling numbers after all.

Putin has been seen in the hills outside Moscow riding into the sunset on a unicorn and wearing a shirt and a MAGA hat.

Image From: “putin on horse no shirt” (CC BY 2.0) by Jedimentat44