A recent poll taken by DogFacePonia concluded that Pete Buttigieg is the worst Secretary in US History. This highly scientific poll was taken on Twitter and Gab. There is no doubt Mayor Pete is worthy of this distinction. We did get a challenge that it should have been Merrick Garland. Though he has totally ignored the Constitution, he seems intent on destroying America and weaponizing the FBI. However, he is the Attorney General which technically is not a secretary.
Let’s take a look at some of his top Secretary competition.
- Joe Biden’s Secretary of Treasury Janet Yellen – was formally the head of the Fed. You would think with this type of background she would have some grasp on the economy. You would be wrong. Despite DogfacePonia, and literally, anyone who knew anything, suggesting that inflation was on the way. She first said there was no inflation and then said it was transitory. It’s hard to imagine someone being so wrong. The good news is she is in control of the Treasury.
- Joe Biden’s Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas – When you think of homeland security what comes to mind? Well to us the first thing would be protecting the borders, right? This is where Mayorkas is an epic pathetic failure. Sorry, that was way too nice of me. One estimate was that 5.5 million illegal immigrants crossed into the US so far in the Biden Administration and that was conducted in October. At 1/6 the levels of today Obama called it a crisis on the border. The Obama Administration was literally 6 times better at dealing with the border. “Don’t underestimate Joe’s ability to (expletive) things up,” said Barrack Obama. Mayorkas is here to help ensure that happens.
- Anyone Else? Our poll was not specific on anyone other than Yellen, Buttigieg, and Mayorkas. We did leave it open. Who got write-in votes?
- Former Secretary of Defense Hilary Clinton – She did just let people die in Benghazi. Strangely with all the fentanyl deaths Mayorkas may have a bigger death toll. That said he hasn’t had people around him murdered yet but who knows what the future may hold.
- White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre – She is Black, Gay, and a Woman(if she knows what that is). She is also utterly clueless as to how to do her job. She literally said Biden was the Best Communicator in history. She makes Jen Psaki look like a genius, but let’s not circle back. Though she is terrible, there is a good chance she has not caused anyone to die or be poisoned by her utter stupidity. So, it’s hard to call her the worst in history. She might not even be the worst Press Secretary in history. Do you remember Anthony Scaramucci?
- Former Secretary of War John B. Floyd – If you are not a history buff you might be asking who this is. Well, he was Secretary of War (renamed Defense in modern times) for James Buchanan. This guy started out by stealing bonds from Native Americans. Also, while he was Secretary, he worked to move weapons to arsenals in the south. That way should war break out; the south would be able to seize weapons. It’s possible the Civil War would have been a lot shorter had this guy not literally supplied the Confederacy with weapons. He tried to send a bunch of artillery south in the last days before his resignation, but the second (or maybe third) worst President in US history James Buchannan stopped him. After the war broke out, he went to the South to be a general for the Confederacy. Good thing he died before the war was over, otherwise treason might have been an easy charge.
This is some stiff competition indeed. We had to drop Floyd, he may be worthy, but he is not modern, and most don’t realize his treason.
We here at DogFacePonia wondered how Pete could overcome such stiff competition. Well, this answer is utter neglect. Ask yourself can you name another Secretary of Transportation off the top of your head? We can’t because it is better to go unnoticed in the role. But Pete has failed more times than we can count with being on LBTQrnity leave with a supply chain crisis, watching the planes be stopped because of a glitch and now literally train crashes everywhere. It’s amazing one man not named John Candy could manage to mess up planes, trains, and automobiles. Steve Martin would be proud.
The best way to describe Pete’s impact might be to quote from Planes, Trains and Automobiles the movie “How am I supposed to go with the flow when the rental car agency leaves me in a 100-acre parking lot with keys to a car that isn’t there then I have to hike back 3 miles back to find out they don’t have any more cars?”
Congratulations to Pete, he deserves it. His Secretaryship can be best described as a train wreck.
Image From: Gage Skidmore from Surprise, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons