What the What? The US is Working on App to help Illegal Immigrants

Gumby Pokey Drunk with Blockheads

Remember the rumor of that mysterious ‘Faceback’ app that could computate what a person looked like from the front. Whatever happened to that? Was that a dream?!?

There is an App for just about anything in this World today. And if there isn’t, just wait 5 minutes and you might just be surprised, or not. I mean it really is a strange and weird world out there.


Just ask anyone who managed to get through a Gumby episode without their brain melting.

What is Gumby you ask? Well if you like watching stop action characters psychologically break each other down in terrible underhanded ways, ever wondered what 1960s psychedelics was all about without having to actually partake. That my friend is a Gumby episode.

Immigrant App?

However, what we are really talking about here is the fact that now the U.S. Government has decided to spend Tax Payer dollars in an ever increasing inflationary crisis on an App to hasten Illegal Immigrants… Err, I am told I am supposed to say ‘Strategic Opportunists’, inclusion into the Good ‘ol US of A.

Didn’t hear that right? It is an App to cut through a lot of red tape and long border crossing waits to get that force majeure into our country applying for low wage jobs, while the hardcore old school Border crossers have to hold in que or something like that.

Sounds to us like Red Dawn (the Original), but minus the Russians, add heinous inside job-o’Crats and treasonous rat bastards, with a multi spectrum of Terrorists hiding behind trafficked Humans and and “Kids” to cause subterfuge from within at strategic moments paid for by Tax dollars funneled through shell corporations and fake charities laundering money back to the 1 percenter Globalist Elites and probably a Reptilian or two if you ask some.

*takes long breath in…

But that is just all a Right wing conspiracy nutjob theory, or so we are told. Just don’t look too closely at the Man behind the curtain. The Invasion force at the U.S. Southern Border, Err the ‘Strategic Opportunists’ are there solely, because they really need help and fear for their lives.

Though we suppose a Jihad can only occur properly when operationally funded by that See and Eye Agency that has no operational Authority within the boundaries of the Domestic U.S. “”Finger Quotes””. So it has been conspiratorially mentioned on the theoretical forum boards that use what we suppose is the Japanese word for ‘Cute’. There is probably an App for that too!

It’ll probably cost you $5.99 and you can only get it via a .onion link through Tor. Don’t get us wrong, privacy is a very big deal here, we are not knocking it. Just keep it legal.

Sadly, when everything looks like it is by design and our backs are against the wall in a dark alley surrounded by 1960s comic book fare grinning crooks.

We want to ‘Q’ualify our position that We must stand for something or fall for anything. Maybe we should defund the “Pre-Registration” Government App for ‘Strategic Opportunists’? Or build a wall?

Image From: “Fun and Games” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by Looking Glass