AOC Almost Murdered by Superbowl Ad

AOC looking outraged

In stunning Superbowl news it was reported today that AOC was almost murdered while watching a Superbowl commercial. These stunning events occurred while sitting mostly peacefully in one of her homes.

AOC was watching an exciting game when she was shocked to see what appeared to be people angry with each other. This all reminded her of Ted Cruz and the events Democrats called an “Insurrection” on January 6th. The Commerical shockingly said “Jesus loved the people you hate”. Her mind was now in overdrive as the commercial said Jesus loves Ted Cruz, MAGA Republicans and worst of all Donald Trump. The commercial then said, “He gets us”. AOC was shaken and thought “he won’t get me!” She began to scream almost murder that Jesus was trying to get her.

The group has several shocking videos that encourage people to be childlike, to love their enemies and suggesting Jesus was a refugee. AOC could not believe a group would be allowed to spread these fascist ideas on National Television.

This Commercial which she called Fascist shocked her. “Something tells me Jesus would *not* spend millions of dollars on Super Bowl ads to make fascism look benign,” Ocasio-Cortez wrote in a tweet.

It was later discovered that this group shockingly was Anti-LBTQ because they believed Boys are Boys and Girls are Girls, Outrageous. Not Only that but they were Pro-Life. She felt they must be stopped before someone else gets almost murdered. She then decided that the Group was wrong, and she knew more about Jesus than they did. AOC said, “Jesus would never get anyone and none of these things is what Jesus is really about.”

We here at DogFacePonia and not sure who the best authority on Jesus is? AOC clearly knows more about Jesus than the Bible, which says thou shall not kill and God created them man and women. She also knows more than Pope Francis who said Abortion is Murder.

Image From: Senate Democrats, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons