Being a Neanderthal and Other Covid Protection

Neanderthal holding rock over his head

There are many traits that make a person more resistant to Covid-19.

  • More Neanderthal DNA – Neanderthals are 22% less likely to get Covid and to have a negative outcome if they do. Neanderthals are born and not made but you can possibly increase your immunity by having a transfusion of Neanderthal blood or having a new untested procedure to modify your DNA with Neanderthal DNA.
  • Type O Blood – Blood types earlier in the alphabet are attacked sooner. O-negative blood is a universal donor type so those who have had a transfusion of O negative blood have added immunity.  O negative blood provides a 22% protection from Covid. Just think, if you get a transfusion of Neanderthal O negative blood you would clearly get a 44% boost in short term immunity but if you are both Neanderthal and have O negative blood you are set. Listening to the Band, Type O Negative, has however not been shown to increase immunity.
  • Sex – Men are 2.4 times more likely to die from COVID-19. We are not sure but believe this explains the increase in men identifying as females. (That and winning races in female sports and being able to use female restrooms)
  • Republicans especially those living in Florida and other Red states – In Red states it is harder to find the statistics because like in New York Covid positive patients were sent to Republican nursing homes.
  • Peaceful Protesters – There has been a suggestion that peaceful protesters are clearly Neanderthals.
  • Chinese ancestry – This is obvious when you look at the statistics which indicate that far fewer Chinese have contracted the virus.
  • TaB drinkers – It is not known whether TaB provides the immunity or TaB drinkers possess traits that further protect them from Covid and cause them to love TaB.

It seems Tab drinking, Peaceful Protesting, Transgender, Chinese, Neanderthal, Republicans with Type O Negative blood might just be safe from Covid. Although, we would suggest they may have other issues to process. Trump is thought to have recovered quickly from Covid because he is a Neanderthal and a closet TaB drinker.

We at DogFacePonia are concerned because we have no Neanderthal DNA or Chinese ancestry. We have tried to be 114% Peaceful and we have purchased as much TaB as possible. We apologize for having caused a worldwide TaB shortage.

Image From : “DSC05515” (CC BY 2.0) by grapitix