DogFacePonia has announced the winners of the first semiannual Golden Sniffer Awards. This announcement has been long anticipated by members of the worldwide flocks of sheep. We will not pull the wool over their eyes. Winners will receive a statue of a large Golden Nose. The awards ceremony had ratings that were infinitely greater than in years past. People were especially excited to see us paint a man completely in gold!
Golden Sniffer for Weather Prediction – NBC weather man Al Roker Famous weathermen aren’t bothering to make accurate forecasts because they figure the public won’t believe them anyway. Some meteorologists have admitted that they purposely fudge their rain forecasts to improve ratings.
Best Supporting Sniffer – Chris Cuomo – This man stinks so bad it is hard to believe he only takes second place in his family. Taking home a supporting sniffer is a grand achievement. Supporting the nursing home deaths caused by his brother, King Cuomo, might have won him this award. However the me 2000 moment against King Cuomo has put Fredo in a league of his own.
Lifetime Achievement Award for Sniffing Lines – Hunter Biden – To Boldly Sniff more lines than anyone has before. Hunter is the youngest winner of this award and is expected to defy all odds and avoid prison time. Hunter Biden was also in the running for the stripper sniffer award, but the media did not look into it very far. He has confused everyone by the stench he has left in so many areas of life and the world, like China, Ukraine, Strippers, Laptops and so many more.
Lifetime Achievement Award for Sniffing – Joe Biden – he has been promoting public sniffing since he began his career. Sniffing successfully for over 50 years has set Joe Biden apart from all others. Joe has sniffed children around the world.
Golden Sniffer Award for Nepotism – Anderson Cooper – He never needed for anything in his life. Now he stands up strongly for all the less fortunate, by taking advantage of them to make more money. A member of the Vanderbilt family, Cooper, knows how to make money off the less fortunate with absolutely no understanding of anything they have had to live through. But he can pretend like the rest of CNN.
Best Circling Sniffer – Jenn Psaki can chase her tail better than any dog or pony, even though she is neither. Psaki has defied odds in receiving this award as many thought Major Biden was the deserving of victory.
Best Social Network Sniffer – LeBron James enough sniffed.
Most Athletic Sniffer – LeBron James – We are not talking about how he smells at the end of the game. We are talking about the smell of self rigorousness he reeks of at all times. He takes stabs at it, but no matter how much Michael Jordan Cologne he wears, it seems he will always be a victim of not being good enough.
Best Sniffer Network – CNN – Zucker will accept the award on behalf of CNN. He is currently sniffing out further opportunities. He stands by the huge drop in ratings which he has led the network to. Not many networks have achieved the stank levels of CNN and it appears everyone has caught wind of it. Way to go CNN you have a one of a kind smell and the Golden Sniffers are confident you stink more than anyone else.
Bottom Sniffer – Academy Awards – They sniffed out the lowest ratings ever, rumor has it that people started turning off mid way through the 2020 Academy awards as the stench was over powering. It appears that people did not even want to take a whiff this year.
We at DogFacePonia are proud to recognize excellence wherever it occurs.