Grand Opening of the Hunter Biden Bank and Trust

Pile of Chinese Yuan Money

Bank with someone you trust …Hunter Biden. Hunter Bank and Trust (HBT) is backed by the full faith and credit of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).  HBT is also backed by all of the cartel banks. There is the added benefit of the backing of the FDIC though it is not needed.

The HBT has included a clause in all paperwork that requires account holder to provide their intellectual property to the CCP. We at DogFacePonia wonder if anyone who banks at HBT would have any intellect. China called remarks by US Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen “irresponsible” and “unreasonable” after the former said Beijing’s lending activities leave developing countries “trapped in debt.” thus categorizing the US as a developing country. As such a bank backed by the CCP is the way to go.

Hunter’s previously announced credit card will now be administered by HBT. OPEC countries will accept the credit card for oil purchases as it will be available denominated in Yuan. Cartels will accept the card in payment for fentanyl. China and the cartels will do business using the HBT credit card which will be allowed to keep records secret from the government.

On opening day there is a giveaway of free chopsticks enthusiastically made by Uyghurs wearing Nike sneakers while watching basketball. Other gifts being raffled off include crackpipes (provided by the US government), coupons for Laptop Repair, tickets to Shen Yun, and the grand prize of a Hunter Biden painting valued at $500,000. Tik Tok will cover the event live. The first 10000 applicants will get a discount at the Wuhan Wet market. All account owners will automatically have their Social Credit scores increased.

Snacks are being provided of Misfortune cookies, Fentanyl, Baby Formula, Dumplings and Bagels.

DogFacePonia got an early glimpse at the misfortunes in the cookies

  • You will die just after your family is arrested.
  • Fentanyl looks good on you. You should probably get more.
  • Do you feel comfortable in your gender?
  • You lose 100 social credit score points for thinking too much.
  • Just remember Jesus, America, Freedom and anything else you believe in is fake.
  • Wuhan Bats are delicious.
  • Your lucky numbers are i, e, pi, the square root of 2, 13 and Googleplex
  • You will be Reeducated.

We at DogFacePonia believe there are enough sheep to make this opening day launch a success.

Chinese Yuan” (CC BY 2.0) by kalleboo