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Brought to you by Pfizer

If you haven’t seen the brought to you by Pfizer montage video you really should. The video presents what we all already know. The Mainstream Media is/has been brought to you by Pfizer or bought for you by Pfizer. We at Dogfaceponia were left wondering what else they have brought/bought us.

Brought to You By Pfizer:

  • The Pi Variant – What comes after Omicron? Well Pi of course. Is there any Greek letter more loved than Pi? Pi is delicious. So enjoy this new variant, Pi, brought to you by Pfizer. Pfizer is happy to bring you pie and variants as long as you get a booster. They see it as a win, win.
  • The Blue Pill AKA Viagra – Want to party like it’s 1999? Pfizer can do that for you. Queue the Matrix on DVD or VHS. Get your little blue pill ready. Strangely, I am starting to see this more these days. Nothing to see here.
  • Myocarditis – This supposedly rare heart inflammation is on the rise. Pfizer would like you to know that just like the Grinch your heart can grow 3 times. Merry Christmas, better late than never.
  • Heart Attacks – In the same vein, heart attacks are on the rise especially in young Pfizer vaccinated people. Some have called this Post Pandemic Stress Syndrome. We think Pfizer really owns this. Why not market it, throw some blood clots into the mix as a bonus.
  • Sesame Street – Elmo and Big Bird want you to get an experimental vaccine. What could go wrong? They look totally healthy. When Pfizer pays a red monster with a high voice that never grows up and an obese over grown bird to tell us what to do we surely must listen, right? Pfizer will say this is out of good will toward children not billions in profit.
  • Opioid Addiction – Pfizer and other companies have paid billions to settle the opioid crisis they helped to create. You can expect your settlement money for the vaccine in 2096 when Pfizer plans to settle any issues.
  • Zombie Apocalypse – The CDC has warned us about this. Zombies are typically brain dead but want to eat your brains. There is a calm in being brain dead. After all you can ignore facts and just believe what you are told. It’s easier that way. Sounds like a lot of the left these days. How many boosters do we need to be full zombie? Pfizer can just keep supplying them until you get there.
  • The CDC (and FDA) – Ever wonder who works at the CDC, former Pfizer employees who probably still own stock. No conflict of interest at all. Even when Merck has a Covid Drug, be sure to approve Pfizer’s first. The CDC just has good feelings about Pfizer. They have a long term relationship after all.
  • Asteroid strike? Has the universe decided to destroy us? Who knows but if it does we think a brought to you by Pfizer logo would make the most sense. It’s Trump’s fault doesn’t have the same ring to it.
  • Never ending Pandemic – Pfizer makes a lot of money off the pandemic. They want you to know they will be here for you as long as there is still money to be made.
  • President Joe Biden – Remember right before the election when Trump was saying he would have a vaccine soon? Pfizer intentionally waited until after the election to announce the vaccine. This sounds like election manipulation to us. Could it be that Trump had taken a hard line stance with Big Pharma and they wanted him gone? Yes, Thanks for Brandon and his buddies, Pfizer. Let’s Go Pfizer!!

We at Dogfaceponia know there is one thing Pfizer is not bringing us and that is the truth. Luckily, we got it after all and it didn’t take 75 years.

Image From: “Vacina Covid-19 Pfizer – UBS 05 Taguatin” (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) by Ministério da Saúde

3 Comments

  1. […] Heart-attack-a-rona – The stress of lockdowns and failure to get treatment in a timely manner because of Covid clearly shows why Covid is the cause of death. Or maybe it was the first, second, third or 100th booster shot. Thanks Pfizer! […]

  2. […] Thankfully, Elizabeth Warren had the chance to explain why all the poll numbers are considerably incorrect. Self-appointed Indian Chief Pocahontas Lizzy Warren explained that she has taken many vision quests, at least 1 for every booster. During these Vision Quests she spoke directly with the undead voters of the Nation and the leadership at Pfizer. She explained that the dead vote is being discounted by GOP and that Republican opposition to Democrat ideas has pushed nearly all of these previously undocumented citizens into the Democrat affiliation. Not Only that but the dead population would soon be increasing based on expected increases in Post Pandemic Stress deaths. […]

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