Coming to A Town Near You.
CHOP is on the move. The summer of love festival has been shut down in Seattle. The CHOP legislature has decided that they should not limit this love festival to one city.
One leader of CHOP has spoken out that they need better organization for the next city they visit. Many locations are being scouted and we will be able to advise you soon of the final decision. One of the cities being considered is Atlanta.
Some ideas are being tossed out with the council for including fixed events such as…
- Statue destruction – this event may only be available in some cities.
- Open firing range – to teach marksmanship.
- Advanced weapon tactics – This event will be held similar to the shoot out at OK Corral, this event will be limited to blacks only as a reminder that Black Lives Matter. Each person who dies during this event will have their face immortalized on a building by the Advanced Painting classes.
- Bloomberg – Gardening For Dummies because of lack of gray matter not to be confused with Bloomberg Gardens a south suburban Chicago local business specializing in organic vegetables.
- Painting classes – to teach the basics of the CHOP designs.
- Advanced Painting (Graffiti) – this class allows activists an opportunity to leave a permanent mark in each city the festival visits.
- Renaming contests will be run targeting military bases and historical monuments. Other renaming will be locally determined.
The Head CHOP-Ster, said “This event is going to be glorious and cities everywhere will be begging for the event to come to their town.”
Another decision has been made to have guard dogs trained to guard the border in each city. These dogs will be known as the Chopper Force. Each dog will be trained to attack Police on command. T-Shirts with the slogan “Chopper Sic Blues” are expected to be a popular souvenir.
Ice Cream Tanks are expected to draw a lot of fanfare from the kids if the money can be raised to purchase one. In the event a Tank cannot be found at a reasonable cost, we assume the US government will allow us to borrow one, as borrowing AKA Looting and stealing are proud part of CHOP culture and festival visits.
The CHOP-Sters have let the cities know that the excitement generated by the event should leave the Cities visited with a long lasting mark of destruction to promote tourism or lower unemployment to facilitate the clean up.
Image From : “Seattle People Department” (CC BY 2.0) by derek.simeone
