The State of The Union According to DogFacePonia

State of the Union Dumpster Fire

We at DogFaceponia were asked an important question. How would you describe the State of The Union? The answers to this question are complicated like trying to figure out what on earth Biden is trying to say. Still, when we thought about it we came up with a 1 word answer Bidenomics. Of course, nobody knows what that means.

So let’s break it down and discuss individual areas

  • Drug Enforcement: We have Cocaine in The White House and Drug overdoses at an all-time highs. If high is what you are looking for this is going great!
  • Inflation: Speaking of things that are getting high. Gas Prices, Inflation, and Hunter Biden.
  • Protecting America’s Borders: Let’s just say it feels like Venezuela emptied its prisons into America. But after all the border crisis is because of Republicans.
  • Shrinkflation: It would seem this is Biden’s biggest concern is Shrinkflation and expensive travel fees. I am sure most of America woke up today thinking … I need more Cheetos in a Bag. Can we just get these airline fees under control? When was the last time I took a flight?
  • Presidential Succession: Biden is the oldest man to ever run for president. He broke his own record by you know, running again. He can barely make sentences. It would seem succession might be important. So Kamala would take over should something happen. Her greatest achievement as Vice president is creating the most word salads.
  • Ukraine: I don’t know it’s not part of America.
  • Congress: Well they seem to be able to do one thing and that is passing continuing resolutions. At least they aren’t spending more money.
  • Unity: Biden told us he was running on Unity! So what is the state of that unity? Well, The country is divided on almost every issue but they do agree that Biden is too old.
  • Ice Cream: The arrival of ice cream at the State of the Union is considered essential for Biden to finish the State of the Union in anticipation. Rumor has it that Biden will be late to the speech because he is having one for the road.

We here at DogFacePonia rate the state of the union and the Biden presidency as a dumpster fire. Someone get the marshmallows They are under $2 half the price of a gallon of gas. Just don’t ask for S’mores we can’t afford chocolate anymore.