Newsom Wants to Lose

Larry Elder Speaking

Gavin Newsom must be tired of being Governor of California. So much so that in order to torpedo his campaign he has asked Kamala Harris and Joe Biden to campaign for him. They might even bring Gorilla Suits!

Being Governor is hard these days. This is especially true for liberals who literally piss off other liberals enough to get recalled (in the most liberal state in the country). After Cuomo resigned, Newsom is looking for a way out. Without Cuomo he is labeled as the worst governor in the country. To save face he was decided to lose in the recall. Not only that but he has some white guilt issues that need to be addressed.

When we asked Newsom who he wanted to replace him he said “To be honest, even though he is the black face of white supremacy, I really want Larry Elder to win. California really needs a Black Governor”.

To help, he has called in Kamala Harris who has the lowest approval rating in vice presidential history (or at least since polling began). Nobody has seen her in weeks as she travelled the world wanting nothing to do with the Biden/Harris Administration.

Meanwhile, Joe needed a vacation. He has been working hard surrendering to the Taliban, eating ice cream and taking away rights from average Americans. Joe didn’t want to take any questions on his Covid Mandates. Joe thought why not walk out, stumble onto Airforce One and hold some Rallies for Newsom. As long as Biden can make it up the stairs to the plane they will have record turn out of like 8 or 9 people. Joe will need to check his watch to be sure he doesn’t miss anything.

We at DogFacePonia think Larry Elder better watch out for the Gorilla’s in the Mist as none of this matters when it is rigged. Newsom may win anyway. Afterwards, the Media will try to convince us that Joe and Kamala are the greatest campaign team ever. They got 80 million votes and are the sole reason Newsom won. If Newsom does win Biden’s handlers have promised him banana ice cream.

Image From: “Larry Elder” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by Gage Skidmore