New Covid Strain Covid-ABST and What it Means For You

No Masks written on Mask Sign

Alert!!! There is a new variant of Covid just discovered Covid-ABST (called Covid Absentia). This could infect everyone, and you just wouldn’t know it.

The symptoms are:

  • No runny nose
  • No sneezing
  • No aches
  • No pain
  • No congestion at all
  • No headache
  • No heart palpitations
  • No kidney problems
  • No joint pain
  • No bleeding
  • Feeling excellent!!

This devious variant has shown up in many covid tests and this has cost Millions of dollars in lost work time. Millions of terrified people have stayed closeted in their homes, afraid to spread this deadly strain. It has killed 0 people worldwide and threatens to continue spreading. The Government is telling us to rest assured that several jabs are on the way to combat this new strain. We asked The Experts at DogFacePonia (none of whom have a medical degree) what their views are on this new strain.

Let’s Hear What the Experts are saying

  • Some are calling it Novid.
  • Almost as lethal as Monkey Pox.
  • A less cool name than Omicron.
  • A stealth version will be developed soon so you can have Stealth Novid.
  • 10 Masks might not be enough but none at all could be the best course of action.
  • Pfizer will have a new booster to ensure you do not get any of the symptoms in particular the last one.
  • We will have a Winter of Death in the same way we had last winter.
  • If you get some Remdesivir then you can get some symptoms.
  • Ivermectin will not help with this strain nor will HCQ.
  • Paxlovid will ensure that you continue to have this form of Covid and will ensure Pfizer makes money. If it didn’t taste like something died in your mouth it might be a good thing to take some.

It you are feeling well with no symptoms be safe and check yourself anyways. You might just have Covid-ABST. You have to test to know you have it.

Disclaimer: DogFacePonia is a Satire Website. Anything said It is not intended to be taken as Medical Advice or as Reliable Truth. If you have questions on treatments, we recommend you contact your doctor or other medical professionals for more information. Nobody at DogFacePonia is a doctor, this is for Entertainment Purposes Only. See our About Page for More Information.

Image From; “My Pandemic Diary: 2020-12-08” (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) by designwallah