Each year we here at DogFaceponia try to do some service for the community. What is this great service? We are glad you asked. Each year we do an in-depth search to find the best Halloween costumes to wear and scare your Liberal neighbors. We thought long and hard about what scares Liberals the most. Trump came to mind but so did climate change. Here are some ideas to personify the fears. Boo!
What to Wear?
- Gas Stove – Liberal states are so afraid of climate change they want to take away gas stoves. The Gas stoves are so dangerous. As they all apparently don’t know, burning natural gas is significantly cleaner with less emissions than coal and oil. They want us to move to electric stoves which is largely powered by Coal, the logic is impeccable. The best move for them would be to ban them. Gas Stoves are scary!
- Light Bulb – Speaking of climate change nothing says climate change like light bulbs. Incandescent Light bulbs are clearly hateful destroyers of the environment even if they literally revolutionized the entire world. The Biden administration says to ban them and fine anyone who disagrees. Sounds like a good costume to me. You could dress up like Thomas Edison but they probably don’t know who he is because history is racist.
- Heterosexual White Man – Are you a White Male Heterosexual man? no need for a costume! Is anything more hated by liberals? Maybe paint your face white by going in “White Face” You can be Dracula or a ghost or a clown. No matter if you are still white.
- Bun in The Oven – Imagine something truly and epically scary, wait for it …. A woman having a baby !!! What do you mean, no abortion? or birth control? My gosh the horror! If you are white you will have another, white privileged racist baby! Just mix that with a gas-powered oven. The fear and trembling it strikes is inconceivable. Imagine if this is her 3rd child she might be an extremist or worse a Catholic extremist who says the rosary.
- Fire Alarm – Oh my God look at the red thingy, it says “fire alarm” and “pull in case of fire” on it. What does it do? Let’s pull it and see what happens. Maybe it will open the door for me? Oh No, It is screaming insurrection, Run!!!
- Vindicated Trump – Trump 2024 victor, innocent in court! They will cower in fear.
- Bill of Rights – you can go as 1A or 2A. Pick whatever Amendment you like they will most certainly want to destroy you! They will tell you amendments are not absolute. Maybe have a drink or 2 of Absolute to make it fun.
- Elon Musk – Musk is like Trump 2.0 just his name brings tears to liberals. Why? Well maybe because he doesn’t play by their rules. He plays by his rules. As a result, AOC cried almost murdered in reference to her X (formally Twitter) account.
- Oil pump – oil which has possibly been the number one driver for pulling masses of people out of poverty over the last 100 years. It is totally the worst for Liberals. Dress up like a pump that they want to make illegal. If Halloween is a night without wind, they will have no power to stop you as Solar panels and Windmills won’t work.
- Insurrectionist – After Lying Dog Face Pony Soldier, Trump Chump, MAGA extremist, Nuclear MAGA Trump Chump Extremist, and Domestic Terrorist didn’t seem to drum up enough Liberal angst. Now it is back to insurrectionists even though there was no insurrection. Just wear a MAGA hat it is many different costumes saying the same thing to Liberals. Let’s Go Brandon.
- Jim Jordan – When Jim Jordan was nominated for speaker the Uni-Party came out in force. He is called an insurrectionist on virtually every news station! How dare he refuse to admit Biden won? How dare he refuse to allow all his personal information, texts, and otherwise be given to the farcical Jan 6th Committee? In a unison chorus, they all sang he is an insurrectionist! You can be one too! Just dress up like him for Halloween.
It might not hurt to express your 2nd amendment rights when Trick or Treating Liberals. You have no idea what they might do when triggered. There is no upside other than the joy you get because the only treat you may be a crack pipe. If you have kids check the Candy.
“Chef and Bun in the Oven 006” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by jinglejammer
