Cause of Death Reimagined

Facemask on Skull

All deaths are listed as Corona deaths if the person has Covid or is suspected have had it. This list will clearly demonstrate why Covid caused these deaths. To be clear, it has nothing to do with bonuses given to hospitals.

Beef-a-rona – Made with macaroni but combined with a mad cow disease. Since mad cow disease is terminal, death is clearly counted as Covid. Would you eat Beef-a-rona if there was not a lockdown? Clearly, Covid was the cause.

Heart-attack-a-rona – The stress of lockdowns and failure to get treatment in a timely manner because of Covid clearly shows why Covid is the cause of death. Or maybe it was the first, second, third or 100th booster shot. Thanks Pfizer!

Kevork-a-rona – Covid has cause people to lock themselves inside, thus people have just given up on living. Cause of death… Covid, or doctor assisted Covid death.

Drive by shooting Rona – Many deaths have occurred because of drive by shootings. With children not in school and lacking supervision because of lockdowns and teachers unions, you get many more Covid induced deaths by Drive by shooting Rona. This is an epidemic in Chicago. We guess if you don’t want to die hold up your vaccine card. I am sure they won’t shoot.

Mask-a-rona– Did you suffocate and die due to 14 masks? Did you get a fungal face infection? Mask-a-rona killed you. Did you smash and grab and get shot? Covid death!

Hit-by-bus-a-rona – This is a way out if you can’t afford Kevorkian. This would also allow you to be tested and determine you have Covid so if you die we know it is a Covid death.

Teacherona – Teachers are dying from Covid regardless of whether they are in school or not. Being a teacher clearly causes Covid death.

Hurricane Rona – These can raise the Corona death toll a great deal. This is one of the many climate ronas. We should do something about these deaths Covid is dangerous, this epidemic explosion could effect an isolated area of the country with large Covid death rates.

Floodarona and Wildfire rona – These are similarly climate change ronas. Clearly these climate issues are caused by covid because everything is.

Lightening Strike a Rona – This can get you anytime, especially if it happens while waiting for a Covid test. May not strike the same place twice but the variants can. Corona storm warning is in effect until you die please stay inside unless absolutely necessary.

Omicron-a-Rona – Were you killed by a Transformer? It’s must have been Omicron Prime!

We at DogFacePonia are convinced that every death is a Covid death. Why? It is impossible to avoid Covid, so when you die it is because of trying to avoid Covid. Good luck and God Bless, your Covid death may be closer than you think. Avoid Hydroxychloroquine and Ivermectin as they may have Covid Death side effects. These include things like life and survival which should be avoided at all costs.

Image : “Protective face mask on a human skull. P” (CC BY 2.0) by Ivan Radic