The CDC and Anthony Fauci have a major new concern. No it is not a Zombie Apocalypse, as it has been covered. It is that Americans might no longer be afraid of COVID-19/Coronavirus. As a result something new had to happen. So together using the partnership with CNN and the rest of the Main Stream Media they plan to start by pushing new diseases with cool names.
Currently Planned Diseases
- Flurona -Really the most obvious to start with and it is already in the news. This is not a new beer or a city in Italy. It is what you get when you combined stupid with the News.
- Carpelrona – Does your wrist hurt. You probably have Carpelrona virus. Go get a test. We are certain it will be positive.
- Coronapox – People who have not had chicken pox or the vaccine can get this double whammy.
- Bubonicrona – This is not a night club and if it was I would tell you not to go there. We do know that like the plague it is spread by rats. This time the rats are CNN Reporters.
- Dementiarona – Very communicable for the elderly. We must protect Joe Biden from adding the dementiarona, even though many experts believe he already has it. The View has suggested that people with this condition should continue to take daily vaccines to prevent deterioration.
- Psoriaticorona – Principle symptom added are skin plaques. Luckily completely harmless so the CDC is recommending only 5 additional Vaccines, but it may reach 3,000 quickly, cause well the CDC loves you 3000!
- Rheumatoid Rona – Principle added symptom is swollen joints and a mad desire to play Canasta. Here is some very important medical advice, do not use a Corona Vaccine if you are allergic to the Corona Virus vaccine or Corona Beer.
- Ricearona – The San Francisco treat. Warning this may involve massive dumps which the locals understand very well, and leave everywhere. You may also get infected when involved in mob lootings or CVS or Walgreens. Something really stinks about the whole thing. We can’t, won’t and you shouldn’t put your finger on this one.
- Elphantirona – This is just a bigger cooler version of Corona. One big Vaccine will make you fine. Still you should likely not use the Q-tip that Chris Cuomo had on his show, hence why his show has been cancelled.
- Shysterona – This is currently spreading like wildfire in the legal community.
- Lep-rona-sy – Only Jesus can save you now. If you don’t want to wait for him to come back consider taking a bath in vaccine since no one has tried it yet. Who knows it may work.
- Gonorrona – We just want to talk about how you got it, ok?
- Mad Rona Disease – aka mad bat disease, aka bat flu is an incurable and invariably fatal neurodegenerative disease from cattle (or bats). Symptoms include abnormal behavior, trouble walking, and weight loss. Does this remind you of anyone?
- Bi-Covid Disorder – It sounds like a mental disorder and it is not far from the truth. You get this when you have two different variants at the same time. Omicron Delta Kappa It may sound like a Frat but instead it is Tri-Covid Disorder. What is even worse if the fact that the different Variants effecting you may have not been identified yet and they change frequently. New variants can come out ever day like Deltacron.
- Hand Foot and Rona – For those who put their foot in their mouth like Biden. Just wash your hands.
- Rona Dismorphia – Are you confused by your light symptoms. Maybe a mild cough and a runny nose. You may think you do not have Rona but you most certainly do. If you deny the test results you must certainly have Rona Dismorphia. Quick the only cure is taking Remdesivir until you get organ failure.
The thought is people are tired of new variants so new combinations should get people more interested(and scared). The good news is that soon every disease will be Covid. We at DogFacePonia are looking forward to Corona Lyme Disease. Corona is just better with a lime and Lyme Disease is better with a Corona. Find your Beach.